Your Life, My Life
by heroofmyownstory
Summary: Years after Hogwarts, even though Harry was the celebrated hero, Luna was still the happier one.


**Your Life, My Life**

 _Years after Hogwarts, even though Harry was the celebrated hero, Luna was still the happier one._

x

 **T** he sun was shining brightly outside on a cloudless and perfectly blue sky. It was summer, and a Saturday at that too; Ginny and her three children were going to a wizarding entertainment park. Harry had declined the offer, despite the pleadings of his family, saying he had an important business meeting to attend.

"On a Saturday?" Ginny asked dubiously, frowning.

Harry shrugged, grimacing. "Things at the office are really crazy right now, Ginny. I'm sorry. I'll take a day off on Monday, and then we can all go somewhere together."

Lily Luna groaned, tears swelling up in her large, green eyes. "But I want you to come with us _now_! This time! You're _always_ at the office!" she whined, tears streaming down her cheeks and sniffling furiously.

Heart-wrenched, Harry was about to confess that the whole meeting-at-the-office thing had been a lie, especially as he looked into the sad eyes of his daughter that were identical in every single way to his. But then he got a grip on himself, and forced himself to say, "I'm sorry, puppet. Another time." He tried to pat his daughter's head comfortingly, but she flinched as though in sheer disgust, and then simply ran away, her crying increasingly louder and angrier.

Harry stood there, immobile, as he watched his daughter run out of the room. Run away from _him_. He felt as though something vital had been brutally ripped out of his chest. Ginny walked in front of him, blocking his view of the now empty door way through which Lily Luna had previously ran through. A malevolent grin was contorting his wife's otherwise timelessly pretty face.

"You won't get the Father of the Year Award this year either, Harry James Potter, so it seems," she said with every hint of malice evident in her voice.

Harry felt a wave of anger wash over him, but then quickly quelled it. This was all his fault. His daughter had been right to get mad at him, and he sort of comprehended his wife's behavior as well. He had been a horrible father and a husband for the past months, and he wasn't even trying to change that. He was just letting his perfect family life fall to pieces, distancing himself from everyone, every relative and friend of his, except for one single acquaintance of his.

"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely, undeniably sincere.

Ginny's face twitched before she said, in a tone that was, against her will, slightly less harsh," That won't change anything. Maybe you should get up from your sorry ass and do something about the fact that your children hate you, and your own wife doesn't even trust you anymore,"

Harry knew she was right. Harry knew that feeling sorry wasn't going to get him anywhere. If he continued acting the way he was currently, the dream family life he had always wished for would fall to tiny pieces, to be broken irreparably forever. He would have to act soon if he wanted to make up for all that he had missed in the past few years.

Harry no longer understood how he thought he could handle both a family and a job flawlessly well. He thought that perhaps being a hero had gone to his head.

Everything had been going as good as possible until James Sirius was born. He was a rowdy and needy child who was prone to crying and had required an incredible amount of attention, more than Harry's two later kids combined had needed. As Harry always came home late, because things were honestly hectic at the Auror Office – had always been and always will be-, cranky and tired, he was unprepared for Ginny's own moodiness and fatigue and incapable of dealing with it. After a time, he stopped coming home before his wife fell asleep for what he thought was the sake of their relationship.

Except Ginny didn't quite think so. Because she had gained a considerable amount of weight during her pregnancy, she became quite insecure about her appearance. In the beginning of their relationship, she would have been too naïve and vain to ever think that Harry would cheat on her. But as the years progressed, she became more and more suspicious; even though Harry always had alibis and witnesses who would swear on their life that he had been hanging out with them, Ginny suspected that Harry was seeing another woman. She didn't even believe her own brother, Ron, Harry's best friend, when he had told her that it was not the case and it was a ridiculous accusation. "Harry would never do something like that," Ron had insisted, but Ginny just dismissed him by saying that as Harry's wife, she knew him a lot more than his best friend. The two of them still hadn't reconciled, or at least not to Harry's knowledge. Ginny had changed a lot in the past years.

Truly, Harry would never have cheated on her. Not that Harry who had married Ginny all those years ago. But the Harry who was presently seriously contemplating divorce now was a completely different case.

This other, new Harry actually thought that Ginny was asking for it, trying to provoke Harry to cheat on her, so she would have a reason to finally be able to divorce him. Ginny never liked to be blamed for anything, and it was crystal clear that she was no longer happy in this relationship either.

Harry was always felt a powerful wave of self-pity wash over him whenever he contemplated these matters. He thought it was all simply so _unfair_. He never had wanted anything else than to lead a normal life and have normal friends and a normal family. That had been his only wish, and that had been the only thing life had not granted him. He had plenty of all the things he had never wished for, both good and bad, just like he always had. He would have traded all his money and fame and so much for a tranquil life any day.

Of course, Harry had learned that there was no such thing as a tranquil life; everybody had troubles of his own that he had to face, but still... after about thirty years, he could no longer manage his hectic, hero life anymore. And nobody could help, because nobody understood it; Harry knew that no matter how sorry they all pretended to feel for him, they were secretly glad that even someone as famous and wealthy as him had his fair share of misfortune, or simply didn't understand his problems. After all, none of them had ever been celebrated national heroes, and secretly they all wished to be. Secretly everyone wished to be, except for the heroes themselves.

"We're going to leave now." Ginny stated, snapping Harry out of his bizarre trance. "Not forever, though. Not just yet." she added threateningly, before turning swiftly on her swiftly, and walking away in her sky high heels. Harry knew that his wife made no empty threats, and he feared to think just how soon she'd be fulfilling her latest one.

"Dad's not coming?" a dejected Harry heard James Sirius ask his mother, as they were standing in the doorway. His young voice was laced with disappointment and sorrow."I thought he said..."

"He thought he was going to be able to come, honey," Ginny explained with a note of impatience and irritation in her voice. "But something... came in between. He'll surely come the next time, though."

Harry's youngest and, if he wanted to be honest, most loved son, Albus Severus, snorted loudly in disbelief and indignation. "That's what he _always_ says." He sounded like he didn't know whether to break down or break something.

Ginny didn't reply to that one. She simply wasn't able to contradict the truth. She didn't even attempt to, not wanting to fuel Albus's rightful anger.

"Let's go, kids." she said at last in an uneven voice. Harry heard his family file out of his house in Godric's Hollow before shutting and locking the door behind them.

Harry felt a pang of emptiness and hopelessness claw at his chest once they were gone.

"I was very surprised that you called, Harry," Luna said in her usual, dreamy voice, her misty grey eyes scanning the room. "Your house is very nice, by the way. Ginny had always been a fantastic decorator," she said sincerely before giving Harry a wide smile.

Harry blushed a little. "Uh... yeah. She has," he conceded, smiling a little to himself at the praise Ginny had just received. He still hadn't completely fallen out love with her, but his emotions for her had changed drastically enough to _not_ want to share his life with her anymore, despite their nice house and kids.

"So why did you called me over again exactly?" Luna asked, her eyebrows knitted. "I seemed to have forgotten. I think a Warkspurt has invaded my brain, Harry," she said seriously, and it was very hard for our hero to keep a straight face. "I've become so forgetful lately," she proceeded, shaking her head at herself.

"I, uh, was just wondering how you were doing with your search, on the, uh, Crumple-Horned Snorcacks," he said, lying not very successfully if even Luna raised an eyebrow at him, which she most certainly did.

"Really? That's interesting. I always thought you weren't interested in my research," she remarked frankly.

"Uh, yeah. About that... well, there's this new dark wizard on the rise... he's quite powerful... nowhere near as powerful as Grindelwald or Voldemort, but still quite strong... we think your Crumple-Horned Snorcacks could help us..." _What a load of bullshit!_ , Harry thought to himself ashamedly as soon as the words had left his mouth.

Luna's smiled broadened, and her grey eyes danced with amusement. "But Harry, that's just silly! Snorcacks do not fight. They just roll around in the mud all day. They can certainly camouflage themselves - that's why we still haven't found them - but they are not fighters. I'm so sorry, Harry," Luna informed him, looking genuinely sorry that she could be of no help to him. Harry felt suddenly guilty for having lied to her, even if it had been such a silly lie. Then suddenly Luna's face brightened. "But Hoop-Winged Sherodactyls, on the other hand..."

"Oh, no, no!" Harry said hastily. Luna looked taken aback, and suddenly he felt guilty again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way..."

"It's OK. I'm more fascinated with Snorcacks myself. Hoop-Winged Sherodactyls _are_ dreadfully dull in comparison, you're right... _dreadfully_..."

"Yes. I completely agree," Harry lied, nodding furiously. "And it's a real pity about the Snorcacks,"

"It is, isn't it?" Luna agreed absent-mindedly, observing the Potters' dining room, her eyes dreamy and misty.

"Absolutely!" Harry said vehemently. "But there was also something else I wanted to talk to you about..."

"Which would be?" Luna asked, still not taking her eyes off the ceiling and the ventillator on it. "Is that a Muggle device? Merlin, it looks an awful lot like a Sherodactyl, you know? Except it has no head, which makes it look kind of silly... what _is_ it supposed to be, anyway? I'm very curious indeed,"

"I'm sure you are, Luna," Harry said, much more snappishly than he had intended to. Luna looked at him with eyes wide with surprise, and he felt guilty again. But he dismissed the feeling before it would get the best of him again. "But... I really wanted to talk to you about something else as well."

"Oh? Well, fire away," she said with a kind smile, eyes dreamy and not really focused on anything, as always. It was nice to see that something always remained the same; unlike Harry's life, which had changed, drastically so, and for the worst.

"It's something... someone... at work," Harry admitted at last, unable to bear looking Luna in the face.

"Oh? Is someone bullying you? Or trying to compete for your position as Head of the Auror Office?" Luna asked, clueless.

"No, nothing of the sort," Harry said, shaking his head, wishing it would be. "It's... a woman."

"A woman?"

Harry nodded miserably. A long, uncomfortable silence set in. He hazarded a peek at Luna, who was staring at him with eyes wide an emotion Harry couldn't quite describe but one that perturbed him all the more. When it became obvious that Luna was waiting for him to go on, he heaved a heavy sigh and complied. He said,

"I... I think I am in love with a woman other than Ginny."

Luna didn't take it as Harry had expected her to. But then again, Luna had never done anything the way people expected her to.

True though it was that Ginny had been acting not-exactly nicely with her, because she had developed a barely explicable hatred for all the women Harry came in contact with ever since she came up with the not so ridiculous notion that Harry might be cheating on her. She had started rivalizing with her own best friend, Hermione Granger, as well.

"Oh, really?" Luna asked simply, blinking largely. Then she knitted her eyebrows. "You know, Daddy always said you two wouldn't last long. I had faith in you two; you were simply perfect together. Perhaps too perfect. I guess Daddy was right. He usually is. I'm so sorry for you, Harry."

Harry could barely bring himself to reply. There was a lump in his throat that prevented him from doing so, along with the extreme guilt he was feeling. This was worse, much worse, than if Luna would have yelled and slapped him and called him names. However, Luna had always been too serene to do that. Finally, after an uncomfortable pause in the conversation, he spoke up, "Why aren't you yelling at me, Luna? Why aren't you furious?"

Luna turned back to him, and Harry almost wished he hadn't spoken. Her eyes were as piercing as Dumbledore's had once been, and he got the unsettling feeling that she was using Occlumency on him. Then he dismissed the ridiculous notion, for Luna probably didn't know that branch of wizardry even existed.

"Should I do that? Would you like that better?" she asked at last, sounding curious.

Harry shook his head, grimacing. Imagining Luna yelling at him with fury suddenly didn't seem like such an appealing alternative. Because if even Luna Lovegood was furious with you, you could know you had royally screwed up something.

"I thought so," the slightly loony girl said with a slightly loony smile. "And I'm really glad you don't want that, after all, because I honestly wouldn't want to yell at you,"

"Despite everything?" Harry asked.

"Despite everything." Luna confirmed, nodding.

Harry smiled slightly, but sincerely. "That makes me happy."

A long silence followed, one which Luna appeared to enjoy, judging by the smile on her face, and one which perturbed Harry. He never liked long silences. When Luna opened her mouth, Harry automatically straightened up, hoping that she would say something consoling again…

"Would you like to get some ice-cream?" Luna finally asked. "I've never eaten any Muggle ones, you know. Maybe they'll tickle my fancy, just like Wizarding Ice-Cream. It's a real pity I can't eat those, though. Wizarding Ice-Cream, I mean…. Neither should you, Harry, as a matter of fact. Did you know that Wizarding Ice-Cream Makers import Sheer Shuckmucks urine from Canada to mix it into the ice cream, because it acts like a drug to costumers…?"

"So who is this mysterious woman, Harry?" Luna asked with a smile, then licked her ice-cream and pulled a sour face. "Merlin, is this bad! It's obvious Muggles don't put Shuckmuck urine in it…"

Harry was glad she had trailed off, because he was honestly too embarrassed to answer the question. "Yes. I'll tell Frederic to get some to do just that," Harry said with a grin, who knew the ice-cream seller personally. "I'm sure he'll think that's a splendid idea."

"Oh, no!" Luna exclaimed, horrified. "Harry, you mustn't! It's against the law to reveal the existence of wizards and witches to Muggles!" she said, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial sort of whisper , looking around the playground suspiciously, as if the grandparents, pregnant mothers, or the kindergarteners could pose a great threat to the Wizarding World if they overheard her. Harry couldn't help a laugh. Before he could say something again, Luna interrupted him to ask the only question Harry suddenly wished she wouldn't.

"So, who is this woman you've fallen in love with?"

Harry blushed, just like an adolescent. "That's not important… what's more important is what I'm supposed to do… I asked you because I knew you wouldn't judge me, and perhaps the two of us could work something out together, and…"

"Actually, who the person is, is really important to know what we should do. If it's Hermione, for example…"

Harry looked at her, horror-stricken at the concept. Hermione had always felt like a sister to him, nothing more and nothing less, and the thought of loving her like he had once loved Ginny was distasteful and made him want to spit on the ground. "No, of course not! Hermione's just a friend." he protested vehemently.

Luna smiled. "Then who is it? Is it Daphne Greengrass, Malfoy's wife, or…?"

Harry thought he was about to throw up then. He would never covet the wife of his nemesis, especially if the said woman was skinny like a boy and uglier than a cow! "No, of course not!" he said, repulsed, looking so comical that Luna couldn't help but smile widely. Before the girl came up with even more disgusting possible lovers for Harry and he really vomited at the park, he decided to get it out. "It's Cho Chang."

"Cho Chang," Luna mused, her eyes dancing with an emotion Harry failed to recognize and was certainly sure had never felt before in his life. "I thought so. You know, one never forgets one's first love, no matter what."

Harry silently agreed, head hung glow. It was true. He had never been truly able to forget about Cho, not even when he had been with Ginny.

"It is like, you either love a person for your entire life, or you've never even loved that person. Love can't just disappear like that. It either never was there, one just deluded oneself into thinking it was; or it really was there. It's hard to differentiate between the two cases, and most people can't do it. They realize their true feelings for another only much later. Usually when it's too late."

Harry stayed silent for awhile, then said, "You know, Luna. This is why I invited you over. People say you're a lunatic, that a five-year old has more common sense than you," Luna nodded, an imperceptible smile lighting up her face. "But it's not true. You're really insightful. You're just so… so… different, from the rest of us. So hard to understand, and then people label you, because they don't get you, and people are just like that. But you really are a great person and an outstanding friend."

An outstanding friend. That's all Luna had ever been to Harry. Of course, Ginny wouldn't have understood that. She didn't have any male friends; recently, only a very few friends had stuck with her at all, due to her atrocious behavior (she wasn't only moody and suspicious with Harry, but with many others as well.) She would have thought Harry was cheating on her with Luna if he told her that he was meeting with her to have a tête-à-tête kind of conversation. He didn't want to lie to his wife, but, in a way, she was forcing him to do just that.

"Thanks, Harry. That was one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me. Except for my husband. He says really nice things like this all the time…" Luna said.

Harry burst out laughing. "No problem. It's the truth."

Silence. The wind blew through their hairs and airy summer clothes. Harry looked off into the distance, licking his chocolate ice-cream absent-mindedly. Then he was finally snapped back to reality, and he said, "So, what do you reckon I should do about Cho? And Ginny? And… and everything?"

"Have you asked Ron yet?"

"What? Ron? No, of course not! It's his sister we're talking about, for Merlin's sake." he said, scowling.

Luna's smile merely broadened, and Harry suddenly felt irritated.

"Do you honestly want to hear my opinion, Harry? You might not like it."

Harry frowned. "Of course I want to hear your opinion. That's why I asked you to come in the first place."

"I think you should do whatever your heart tells you."

Oh, couldn't she have come up with anything less clichéd?, Harry wondered irritably. He was afraid he'd yell at her if he opened his mouth, so instead of replying, he simply remained silent.

"And what does your heart tell you, Harry?"

"Luna…" Harry began, more calm now, only to be cut off by the blonde girl.

"You don't like my opinion? I thought you wouldn't." she said.

"No, no! I… I do like it, it's just… a bit… clichéd, don't you think?"

"No, I don't. I think it's a very good advice. I've always followed my heart, and never regretted it. I find it would be hypocritical of me to tell you to do anything else, because I know I would never sit down and obsess over this. Scamander and I both agreed that if the passion between the two of us ever cooled off, we'd separate, to not cause the kids any harm. We wouldn't overcomplicate things." Luna said.

Harry was often amazed by the amount of wisdom Luna hid under the façade of a loony girl. The wisdom only he and her closest friends didn't fail to see. "That's… that's…" He couldn't find the words to describe it.

"That's my advice." Luna concluded with a dreamy smile and a faraway gaze.

"It is, certainly," Harry confirmed, nodding. "But… I'm not even sure Cho likes me all that much. And how would everyone else take it? I mean…"

"I know the answer to your first question, Harry."

"Huh?"

"It's funny, isn't it, that Cho just called me about the same thing last week…" Luna began.

"She-she did?" he asked, excited beside himself, only to be ignored.

"She and I, we used to get along just fine at Hogwarts. I knew she was only kind to me because she was the 'popular girl' and she had to keep her image, but she was still kind to me, and in turn I was kind to her. She then realized that she could confide in me, tell me all her secrets, because they were safe with me. I've never told them to anyone. I had no one to, of course, back then, but those were different times. And you're desperate now, aren't you?" she said, turning to him abruptly and looking him deeply in the eyes. He was so startled and taken aback that he couldn't lie.

"I… uh… yes, I guess I am. I _am_ desperate." He wanted to take the words back as soon as he had uttered them, but unfortunately, there were no such spells for that.

Luna's smile widened, and it was beginning to rather irritate him. Was she _mocking_ him? But then he realized that Luna would never mock anyone. It was just not in her nature. "Then desperate times call for desperate measures, my dear and desperate Harry. I'll tell you this secret of hers. But only this one, and only because this is an exceptional case. Understood?"

"Uh… yes… I… I understand, Luna."

"She told me she loves you, Harry."

The house was deserted. Ginny and the children had gone somewhere to leave Harry be when he was packing. True, he had bought the house. But Harry still had enough money to buy a few more mansions from his inheritance, and thus decided to leave this one to the unemployed, full-time mother Ginny. He didn't want to force her to have to live in the Burrow again, after the rather dramatic end of their relationship, unapproved by most others. He had always been gallant like that.

Harry almost wished his ex-wife and children were there to throw insults at him. As it was, he had no distraction from his thoughts. _Shouldn't I have stayed with Ginny? Who will win custody of the kids? How will their life be, growing up with only one parent? Will they hate me forever now? Will they ever find it in their heart to forgive me?_

Sniffling and wiping a stray tear from his cheeks, he returned to packing, his pessimistic thoughts still plaguing his mind.

There was a gentle knock on the door. Harry's heart skipped a beat, and he spun around. Then he exhaled the air he didn't even realize had had been holding in, and said, relieved and slightly surprised, "Luna."

Luna smiled slightly. "Harry." she said, and started packing without another word.

"L-Luna? What are you doing?" he asked uncertainly, eyebrows contracted.

"I'm helping you pack." she replied with utter simplicity.

"Of course you are, I see that, but… why? Didn't I tell you I wanted to be alone?"

"You did. You told everybody. But it appears that I'm the only one who knows you better than that." she said, and he was about to argue when she silenced him by saying, "Your thoughts are plaguing you, right? Thoughts about the future."

"Of course," he snorted. "Wouldn't they be bugging everybody in my place?"

"Not me. I never reconsider or contemplate past alternatives after I have made a choice. I don't need to. Some say that's foolish, but look where it got me. I'm a very happy person now."

Harry couldn't argue with that. Luna had always been teased and mocked at school, and had no friends other than Harry and a very few others. But she had always been a bright student, an insightful individual, and a great friend. She had always been embarrassingly loony, but now that they were out of school, nobody seemed to care. Luna didn't have so many friends, unlike Harry; but unlike all of Harry's friends, every single one of Luna's friends were true friends, loving and appreciating the woman fully.

During school, nobody would have thought that Luna had a bright future ahead of her. But she'd accomplished her dream of becoming a Wizarding naturalist, and she loved doing it, as she had always known she would. She also became rich because of the discoveries of new species she'd made.

She was also able to juggle her family life and her work life outstandingly. Her husband was rich, faithful and gentle, even if not attractive. It was obvious by the way he held her that he'd give his life for Luna. She also had given birth to twins, who were just as loony and intelligent as she had been during her school years.

All in all, Loony Lovegood lived the tranquil and perfect life Harry Potter had always craved for.

"You know, you're much better off than I am." he blurted unthinkingly.

Harry thought that she would argue, say that his life was better because he was the hero of a nation, he had three beautiful children, friends who supported him even though he divorced Ginny, and a beautiful new wife… but then again, Luna never did what others thought she would do.

She nodded affirmatively, saying, "I've always been."

Harry was too appalled to reply.

Folding a pair of Harry's shirts, Luna proceeded. "I might not have had lots of friends, but I always had Daddy with me. He helped me through _everything_. Boys might not have been falling at my feet, like girls were at yours, but I've never even been interested in love and romance during my school years." she said, and burst into a smile. "Sherodactyls and Shuckmucks used to interest me more than things I knew for certain were real."

"You don't think… anymore…?"

"It doesn't matter what I think, Harry. We're talking about you now. Perhaps one day, when I am divorcing my husband, we'll delve deep into _my_ past, and… dear, I've already ranted on too much about myself…"

"No, that's alright!" Harry protested promptly. "Go on, please."

"Are you sure?" she asked dubiously.

"One hundred percent." he replied convincingly.

Harry felt a little irritated with himself. During the past few weeks, Luna and Harry had spent a lot of time together – of course, not to Ginny's knowledge. What she didn't know, didn't hurt her, Harry kept saying, justifying his lie and sin.

And during the aforementioned weeks all they talked about was Harry and his problems. Harry had become closer to her than he had to anyone. Even Ron or Hermione, combined. Which was a big thing. And he started looking at Luna in an entirely different way, ever since.

But then he realized that during all their talks, they hadn't even mentioned a word about Luna, her life or possible problems. For surely, she had her own problems too; everybody did. She had just been tactful enough not to remind him about this fact, not to interrupt him as he was pathetically wallowing in self-pity. Harry realized that Luna really was a great, unselfish friend. And now he felt annoyed with himself that he had been just the opposite recently, and he was trying to make up for it by asking her to talk about her private life now.

"Well… as I've said, I _have_ always been better off than you were. If you don't mind me saying, Harry."

Harry said he didn't, but he was lying. Luna must have known that he wasn't being sincere, but she went on nevertheless, knowing the man would never admit that.

"Sure, my dad wasn't rich. I didn't have an interesting past like yours, befitting of a hero. My mom died because one of her experiments had gone wrong, not while protecting me from the greatest dark wizard at the time. Greatest dark wizard, have I said? How ironic! Isn't it?" without waiting for a reply, she proceeded. "The friends I had weren't _all_ that great. They were ashamed to show up with me in public, because everybody would mock them then. But I knew that they loved me, and I couldn't blame them for their cowardice. I was no one to judge, as I hadn't been placed in Gryffindor either…"

"Luna, you're one of the bravest witches I've ever-"

"Sssh, Harry. Don't interrupt! Isn't this supposed to be about me now?" she asked quietly and ever so serenely. Harry couldn't feel offended, just guilty for having cut her short.

"Sorry…" he muttered, feeling like a little child.

"That's quite alright, Harry. I shouldn't have reprimanded you." Harry was about to argue, but Luna silenced him with a look that was so gentle, yet so powerful. "Getting back to me… It was really during Dumbledore's Army that I started making friends who were no longer embarrassed to show up with me. They started discovering who I was, and I realized the world and its people weren't as bad as Daddy had painted it out for me. There were good people out there. Except these good people didn't want to be good, because that wasn't cool. I've always thought being good was cooler than being 'cool', but then again, I had always been very different, haven't I?" it wasn't a question; and she sounded proud to be different. "Then Dumbledore's Army was cancelled. I went back to being old Loony Lovegood again. It was… kind of… alright, really bad after I got a taste of what it felt like to have friends. But I reconciled with it, having no choice but to do just that. Then you went away, to search for Voldemort… Neville, Ginny, and I became very, very good friends. It was terribly selfish of me, but I was glad for the war and that you were gone away; now your friends became my friends, because a mutual and terrifying enemy united us.

Then you defeated Voldemort. It had been the happiest summer of my life; sure, I had always been a little off, but even I had been terrified of Voldemort, and was immeasurably relived once he was gone for good. Seventh year was hard, but Ginny, Hermione, and Neville helped me through it. They're a real blessing, all of them. I… I know Ginny has recently changed drastically, but she used to be different. So nice, so kind, so admirable. A true Gryffindor. Of course, that's not so much the case now, but you gotta excuse her… she's been through a lot…"

Harry had felt anger, irritation, guilt, empathy, and lots of other emotions throughout her speech, but he honestly didn't know what to feel when Luna was talking about Ginny. Fortunately, she switched topics soon enough.

"Then I had gotten my NEWT's, and honestly, they had been better than I had expected. Perhaps Sukwut spirits had been there with me that day," she sighed, then smiled in a twisted, sad sort of way. Harry felt like he had been violently punched in the guts. "But perhaps, they don't even exist. Who knows? I have found Sherodactyls, and a few other creatures, but… perhaps some creatures really don't exist; perhaps some are really just the figments of my daddy's vibrant imagination. But again, _who_ knows? Really, nobody can know everything."

She went on.

"During one of my quests as a naturalist, I met Rolf Scamander. He's the son of Newt Scamander, did you know? He wrote a very famous book once about magical creatures. _Magical Monsters and Where to Find Them._ That's the title, I think. We used it during our Hogwarts years once… anyway," Luna said, noticing Harry's completely blank expression. Then she looked away again, staring off into space, a dreamy, very Luna-ish smile spreading on her lips. Harry couldn't help but notice that she looked more beautiful than ever. Before he could realize what thought had even crossed his mind, Luna already went on, distracting him from his thoughts. "And Rolf? I hated Rolf in the beginning. He was stuck-up and thought he knew everything there was to know about Magical Creatures and where to find them because of his father. Of course, I proved him wrong. Then he became more humble, and I saw that there was an actual human being under that impossibly stuck-up façade of a man. And the rest is history. We went on a few more expeditions together, started dating, got engaged, then married… and now we live in a pretty little house in Scotland. It's beautiful, and the kids love it there. So does Rolf, and I do too… You should really come and visit more often. The twins and Rolf have taken a liking to you, you know?" she said with a smile.

"Sure… I'll visit more often." he replied with a smile to match hers.

Then she looked away, and recommenced where she had previously left off.

"I was happy throughout my entire life. Sure, there were ups and downs, but all in all, I led a happy life. I can't say the same about you, Harry… whenever you're not trying to keep up the façade of the once-tragic-now-happy hero, you just seem really sad."

Harry couldn't argue, and that made him feel very miserable and pathetic.

" _Very_ sad. And you never talked about your problems, never before, not even to Ron to my knowledge."

"You- you guys talked?" Harry asked, feeling a sudden wave of anger wash over him. Why would his friends feel the need to talk about him behind his back instead of confronting him!?

"Of course we did, Harry," Luna said, with such genuine innocence and simplicity that he couldn't bring himself to be mad anymore. "We worry about you."

Silence. Uncomfortable and unable to return Luna's smile for some reason even he himself was unable to fathom, Harry pretended to recommence packing.

"I think you've made the right choice, though. I really thought you were going to stick with Ginny, because that would have been the 'right' thing to do. But just imagine… the kids would have had to hear your rows every single day. They wouldn't have been happy. Neither would have been the two of you. It had become a very strained relationship in the end. Perhaps you should have waited a bit before marrying… I had always thought it was a bit sudden, you know… so perfect together, but too young to know better… do I even make sense anymore?"

Harry didn't reply. Luna had never judged him before, and it was making him really angry that she was now. He felt... betrayed. As if Luna had kept all her opinions from him from some unknown but definitely mean purpose. Then he shook the ridiculous notion away. Luna would never do anything to hurt anyone. The only people she had ever hurt were Death Eaters. But Harry had never considered those blood-purist, black-hearted pretenders humans. They were too inhumanly rotten for that.

"I know," he said at last, sighing, realizing Luna was right. The only reason the two of them had rushed into the marriage, because Mr Weasley had been gravely ill at the time, and he wanted to see his one little daughter get married before he passed on. At least he got his last wish. At least he didn't see them fall apart. At least he died happy.

"But I'm glad you made the right choice, in the end. You chose what was better for both you, Ginny, and the kids." Luna said encouragingly, sounding sincere, with a soft and tiny, but definitely heartfelt smile on her face.

Harry smiled back weakly. After these weeks with Luna, and this conversation especially, Harry saw lots of things in a drastically new light. Especially Luna…

"You'll always be happier than me. Mostly because you can accept the way things are, rather than fight them." he said before he could stop himself.

"I guess that's the difference between an ordinary person and a hero." Luna replied.

"Don't be ridiculous! You're a hero too. Everybody who's fought in the war is a hero-"

"Voldemort and the Death Eaters fought in the war too, remember?"

"But I didn't mean-"

"Some only fought because they had to, Harry. Some went there because they wanted to end their miserable lives but were too much of a coward to commit suicide. Some went there to see you die, some went there to see Voldemort be defeated. Some only went because they felt that society would shun them if they didn't. Not all soldiers are heroes, Harry."

"Not all 'ordinary' people are cowards, either."

"I hope you're right."

"I _am_." he insisted stubbornly.

"And guess what? _I_ am right about the rest of your life. You're going to be happy from now on. Cho really loves you; she's never moved on, never had a stable relationship ever since the two of you. She also told me she had only chosen Cedric over you that one time because he was older and more popular than you. She'd been foolish… but she's changed, just like Ginny had. Except she's changed for the better, and Ginny for the worst. You've made the right choice by choosing her."

Harry looked at Luna for a long time. Luna was usually insightful, but at times she could say big, big nonsenses. Like this time. How blind did Luna have to be not to realize that he was, incredibly enough, starting to have strong feelings for her? He'd never have foretold this, but… but Luna was much more than what met the eye. She was beautiful, inside and outside. She was bright and insightful. She was compassionate and unselfish. She was simply _perfect…_

He didn't think he'd made the right choice by choosing Cho over Ginny. He wish he could have chosen Luna. But alas, Luna was married to a loving husband with two lovely children... and most of all, she was _happy._

Something he'd never be.

Something he'd never be because he kept making wrong choice after wrong choice, and he only realized it when it was too late.

At that moment, he realized that the only one standing in the way of his happiness was none other but himself.

x

 _The American Dream, the idea of a happy ending, is an avoidance of responsibility and commitment. – Jill Robinson_

 **Fin**


End file.
